“Truth carries with it confrontation”. -Frances Schaffer

Have you ever been afraid of engaging in confrontational conversations because you assume you know how it will go? Don’t let fear stop you from the conversation.

People oftentimes prefer not to bring up conversations that they believe is going to be confrontational. But that puts a stop to the energy flowing to that topic and what that conversation is going to unfold.

We each have our own ways of approaching conversations. There are people who don’t mind conflict, and there are those who try to avoid it at all costs. Social styles have to be considered when engaging in conversation.

But a lot of times, our conversations are often run by assumptions based on past facts and the person that we are having the conversation with.

So, how do you deal with confrontational conversations?

 

Remove Your Assumptions Of How A Conversation Will Go

Don’t let assumptions dictate how a conversation will go. When you detach yourself from the story you were originally creating about what you perceived would happen and then take out any assumptions, you become more objective of what is going to unfold.

Trust that your personality and intention will come out in the way you communicate. It can be difficult but when you remove your assumptions, you will be able to communicate your intentions and steer confrontational conversations to a more positive outcome.

 

Get Rid Of The Story In Your Head

The biggest issue with confrontational conversations is not so much the conversation but the story we run in our heads about how we think the conversation will go.

Don’t let the story in your head affect the way you deal with confrontational conversations. Have an open mind and position the conversation so that it will lead to a better outcome for everybody. When you get rid of the story in your head and take conversations head-on, it becomes easier to understand the situation and faster to move on from the confrontation to the outcome.

 

Don’t Wait Too Long And Keep The Conversation Moving

Don’t wait too long to show up and move the conversation. When you wait too long and the conversation is dragging, anger, doubt and assumptions fester which then drives the conversation. When this happens, we don’t show up authentically and the best-case scenarios fail to unfold. We risk an explosion of anger, fear, and other emotions that may be stimulated because of thinking about the confrontation and letting the stories in our head run wild.

You will never know what’s going to happen when you are having a conversation because each person has their own opinion. We cannot always expect people to agree with everything that we have to say. But what engaging in the conversation does is keep it moving by actually happening. And if a conversation is moving, we open up opportunities and possibilities of steering it into a more positive and agreeable conclusion.

 

Don’t Let Confrontation Stop You From The Conversation

One of the most important conversations that a lot of people usually tend to veer away from is one that requires asking. We have had a number of coaching sessions where our clients have admitted that they don’t follow up or ask their clients about the next time that they were going to come in to purchase or use their services.

A lot of people leave money on the table every day. People leave people un-helped and un-impacted because they don’t have the next piece of the conversation. And this is usually caused by their worries and fear that the other person is going to say no. But really, what have they got to lose?

It’s all in the perception. Such conversations, for example, can evoke perceptions that either the person is taking advantage or that it is something that a person truly wants.

 

Get In The Conversation Gracefully

You need to have those difficult conversations so that you can get to a better outcome. But this requires one to step up and go when the pain is greater than the fear. But it would be more beneficial if people don’t wait until the pain is terrible before actually having a conversation that could make a situation or a person or a community better.

When you use a graceful approach to the conversation, it automatically diffuses a lot of the pent-up energy around it. Approaching difficult conversations from a loving and kind place diffuses the confrontation. And so do listening.

A big piece of resistance from the confrontation is listening. Really listening and not just receiving. This goes a long way to change the path of what could be an explosive conversation.

 

Choose The Best Way To Communicate What You Mean

A recent study has shown that 92% of what people worry about never happens. And those that did turn out to be better than what people actually expected. 

Don’t let the fear of confrontation stop you from the conversation. You can avoid a confrontation simply by choosing how to communicate what you meant to say. The worst-case scenarios that can happen are getting a “no” answer, agreeing to disagree, or no agreement at all.

Where in your life do you stay back or withdraw for fear of a difficult conversation?

 


Amazingly, horses don’t consider difficult conversations to be “confrontational” because they are so in the present. Learn more about how an Equine Session can change your communication, your mindset…your life!

ISABELLE MERCIER TURCOTTE
Brand Strategist & Business Growth Catalyst
Co-Founder/CEO of LeapZone Strategies & Host of LeapTV.com
Isabelle Mercier Turcotte is a ‘no-nonsense’ dynamo, born to catapult passionate entrepreneurs to build impactful brands, businesses and lives. As one of North America’s Top Business Influencers, best-selling author, two-times TEDx speaker with over 2.5 Million views, and TV show host, Isabelle’s sole purpose is to empower change and growth.

To explore working with Isabelle, visit leapzonestrategies.com. You can also find Isabelle on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/leapzone/.